Hold onto your Pantothenic Acid supplements, folks, because we're diving into the kale-infused madness that is... yoga mat collecting. Yes, you heard that right. While some people collect stamps, vinyl records, or, I don't know, a genuine social life, others have uncovered a fresh, revolutionary hobby: rounding up incredibly extensive - and dare we say, awfully colourful - arsenal of yoga mats.
The Comedy of Yoga Mat Collecting
Though collecting falls under quite common hobbies, whoever thought that the allure of a thick, rubbery surface designed to soak up your sweat could form part of an irresistible, yet somewhat absurd fascination, was certainly bending over backward that day... and we don't mean in a yoga pose.
Now, let's debunk this first. We're not talking about the practical gym goers who own one, maybe two mats. Let's not even mention those poor souls who scrape by with a thin pilates mat. No, dear readers, we're focused solely on the intense devotees to this thin rubber stretch of sanity - the collectors. Those with the kind of collection that makes you question whether they're prepping for a mass yoga session or simply mistook the buy button for a breathing exercise
It's a bit like collecting, say, egg boxes. Sure, they're useful, and I suppose they have a bit of variety in terms of weight and texture. But why, in the name of Downward Dog, would you need more than one or two?
The Absurdity of Yoga Mat Obsession
Forget bizarre Netflix addictions or people who claim to "LOVE" kale, let's visit the dubious enchantment of yoga mat collecting. To be frank, we can only guess that these eccentric fellows wake up one day, strike a short-lived Tree Pose, and then get hit by an epiphany. "Aha! I will collect yoga mats," they proclaim, giving birth to a bizarre new obsession.
Now, every trip to a general merchandise store becomes a coupon-hunting, aisle-wandering hazed adventure in itself. Eyes are peeled for perrrrfect mats that vary in thickness, texture, material- even the slightest hue variation is enough to set the heart racing!
Why Do People Collect Yoga Mats?
It's as mysterious as trying to figure out why your cat prefers to chill inside the packaging box of your most recent yoga mat parcel, rather than the prime location deserted mat by your window sill. One might hazard to say, it's all about getting a "grip" on life. Some collectors claim that different yoga mats help inspire them in performing different asanas. More complicated pose? Simply whip out the jade colored yoga mat with the tiger print!
Oh, the hilarity! Everyone, quickly grab your flax-infused raisin cookies and listen. The truth is, we don't exactly know why some people see the need to transform their once minimalist home into a rainbow of mats. But, rest assured, as long as they're not plotting a world takeover with their army of colourful foam rectangles, we are just fine with that.
But remember folks, yoga mat collecting is simply the tip of the iceberg. Stay tuned for our next exposition, which will sort through the knotty world of yoga strap collectors. Oh yes, they exist! Brace yourselves, and remember to maintain your Bhujangasana pose through it all.
Collecting yoga mats, or 'moga' as those in the know like to call it, has become the latest trend to hit the wellness industry since avocado on toast and quinoa-flavoured kombucha. But for some, it’s no mere fleeting hobby. People are turning entire guest bedrooms into ‘sanctuary spaces’, wallpapering them with a carefully curated, rainbow-hued selection of various brands, textures, and designs of mats. Some are never walked on, others are lazily stretched, each yoga mat carrying its distinct personality, or so the enthusiasts claim.
Let’s dive further into the vortex of this stretchy madness. Meet Linda, a 47-year-old accountant with a smile that threatens to engulf her entire face. She's the proud owner of no fewer than 327 yoga mats, each one neatly colour-coordinated and alphabetically ordered by brand name. When asked if she practices yoga, she laughed, 'Oh goodness no, I'm far too busy for that. I just love how they roll'. Her eyes take on a far-off look as she added, 'There’s a certain thrill in unrolling a fresh mat, you know?'
Obsession or Passion: The Thin Line
The yoga mat collectors I met during my research are passionate, to the point of being borderline obsessive. They can wax lyrical about the joy of grippage, the bouquet of a freshly unpacked TPE (Thermoplastic Elastomers) mat, and the tantalizing impact of a beveled edge. They proudly shared stories of waiting in line for hours to snag a limited-edition Liforme and how they’d re-mortgaged their homes to get their hands on a once-used mat from a celebrity. 'It's not about doing yoga anymore; it's about living it. Living the Mat Life,' confessed Gary, a 35-year-old vegan smoothie-maker who now owns a whopping 400 mats.
The Mystifying Inner World
Meanwhile, on the inside, the moga community has its own rules and quirks. Mispronouncing Manduka can result in hangnail-like social stigmas. Yoga mat crimes are real; matnapping is a punishable offence, and mat-shaming based on thickness or hygiene is frowned upon heavily.
The Stretchy Madness Unraveled: ‘Moga’ for Life
So, where does this leave the non-collectors among us? Shall we indulge ourselves in this stretchy madness or should we tread lightly around the mat? Are we to roll out the welcome mat (quite literally) for this new-age obsession, or should we bury our heads in our traditional, singular, well-used yoga mats and hope it all blows over? Whatever we choose, it's clear the moga mania isn't going anywhere anytime soon. The world of ‘living the Mat Life’ rolls on, down doggedly unfazed by our bewilderment.